The Eternal SAF

People at work don’t know what to say about the fact that I’m a 35-year-old single woman.  Single Asian Female.  SAF.  They don’t know what to say and sometimes they don’t know how to act around me.

I think I’m an enigma to a lot of people.  I look like I’m in my 20’s but I’m actually in my mid-30’s.

Some people, at first, started treating and talking to me a certain way.  Then, when they found out how old I am, synapses were activated and gears shifted and people were baffled.

Yeah.  I get it.  Women my age in my company are more senior and they have children around the age or 7 or 8 years old.  I’m a career changer.  I’m late to the game.

Today, a manager (not one of my direct managers) told me he was doing yard work over the long holiday weekend and the conversation goes a little something like this:

Manager:  You’ll never have a house.

Me:  What do you mean?

Manager:  I mean, you don’t want one.

Me:  Why do you say that?

Manager:  It’s just not you.

Me:  Oh, you think I’m more like a condo kind of person?

Manager:  Yeah, I guess.  You don’t want a house.

Me:  Why do you say that?  You think I’m a city kind of person?

Manager:  Yeah. You’re not going to have a family or anything.  You don’t need a house.

Me:  You think so?  I actually really love children.

Manager:  That doesn’t matter.  You can love children and not want a family.

Me:  What makes you think I don’t want a family?  How do you know I’m even single?

Manager:  Oh, come on!  It’s just not you.  You don’t even have a boyfriend.

Me:  How do you even know?

Manager:  Because you never say anything about him and you are never in a rush to get out.  You have a ton of time on your hands.  (So what if I’ve planned many happy  hours??)

I tried to stay mysterious about whether or not I have a boyfriend so I brushed off the conversation at the time and we talked about some other things.

I came home after work and had a glass of wine.  I was in tears.

Could he be right?  Is he completely wrong?  Is this what people think of me?  Is this what I want people to think of me?

I don’t know.

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