MTB

Today was the loneliest day of my life.

If you consider how old I am and where and how I’ve lived, you have to know that to have been the loneliest day of my life, I must have been pretty f*cking lonely today.

I’ve been suffering some pain in my abdomen the past couple days.

Today it was at it’s worst.  I had to leave work around 3:30pm because it was so unbearable.

I thought something was about to explode inside.  Sharp pains and bloatedness.

I raced home because I just didn’t know if I was going to pass out while driving on the highway on my way home or walking home from my parking garage.

I raced home to be somewhere comfortable because if I dropped dead, it would be a long time until anyone that cared would know.  I know it’s crazy thinking but I wanted to be in the comforts of my own home should anything happen to me.  It’s completely morbid, but that is just how I think.

That made me feel really lonely.  I have no one.

And what added to it was that I contemplated going to the hospital.  Do I go alone?  I barely felt like I could drive but who could really drive me?  Everyone was at work.  That would mean that I’d have to call someone to come get me and drive me to a hospital and have to endure 15-20 minutes more of blinding pain.  I didn’t know if I could wait that long.

And even if I wanted to go to the hospital, I don’t even know where it is!

HOW COULD I BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE?

Not only am I in pain, but I’m also hard on myself for not knowing where the hospital is after living here 4+ months.

Get with the program!

This entry was posted on July 28, 2011 at 4:05 am and is filed under Uncategorized . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.